[r.p.bibra]

(food for thought)
"Character Through Example
Have you ever thought that if we don't tell our children, "No," how will they
ever learn to tell themselves ‘No’? Stop and think about this, it is very
important. Master says, "Parents have the primary responsibility to mould the
character of their children." The character is moulded through our example,
instruction, love and discipline. The subject of discipline has been
continuously emphasized by our Master. He says, "Ninety percent of
the blame for spoiling the behaviour and character of children, go to the
parents. They show too much unintelligent affection and give too
indiscriminate a freedom to them."

Apply the 'Brake' of Self-Discipline
Why is discipline so important? Because we would not even get out of bed in
the morning without discipline. It is the function of the conscience that tells us
to ‘Stop’. To stop sleeping too long, eating too much, crying too long, etc. It is
the conscience mechanism that controls our behaviour. Would you put your
child in a car without a brake? Can you imagine yourself driving a car without
a brake? It is the same with our behaviour; discipline is the brake. The car is
our body, our action, our personality. As of now, the children are driving their
bodies without using the brake of discipline. They are out of control. Their
behaviour is not in accordance with Master's teachings.
Now, what we are seeing in the Western culture is children who control their
parents. In a way, the children are ruling the parents, instead of the parents
governing the children. This is not a correct situation. Baba says, "The parents
are to blame for three-fourths of their children's behaviour. When
parents allow the children to go astray, sometime or other they will
suffer the consequences. It has become fashionable in the Kali Age
(present times of value degeneration) to let the children have their own
way. The parents give a free rein to the children instead of controlling
them."
Materialism vs. Morality
In my opinion, our generation has seen the greatest "annihilation of morality."
We have experienced the great revolution of immorality. Many of the values
that existed for our parents are non-existent today. We have had to
emotionally and psychologically accept what is, while longing for our memory
of family values that once existed. Divorce was the rare exception and only for
extreme cases. Master says, "When materialism goes up; morality goes down.
When morality goes up; materialism goes down." This is our dilemma. Our
society has lost its moral fibre because of its focus on enhancing our physical
life with more and better products, as well as pleasing ourselves, fulfilling
desires, regardless of spiritual expense. What has happened to the moral
strength gained by the struggle to overcome difficulties which sustained the
pioneering spirit of the older generation? We live in such physical comfort that
our children are pampered into indolence. It has cheated and impaired their
spiritual character. Spoiling them has made them weak. They do not know
how to fight for survival. We have certainly failed them.
Because of the industrial and technological age, we became consumers of
comfort and pleasure. We wanted our children to have everything. We watch
the commercials on television, followed their advice, and bought and
purchased and consumed ad nauseam. We discovered that happiness
couldn't be purchased for ourselves or our children. You can't buy happiness,
period. The children only want more......why? Because we did not teach them
or ourselves how to apply the brake of self-discipline. We are programmed to
be consumers. We have bought into the marketing strategy, hook, line and
sinker.

The 'Me' Generation: A Subconscious Conditioning
We work, work, and work. Why? To have a higher standard of living? Do we
really need as much as we have? When we keep purchasing goods, we are
teaching our children by our example to continue the same behaviour. The
manufacturing companies love it. Master says, "Waste of money is evil,
teach children not to receive anything for nothing. Let them earn by hard
work the things they seek." Love and discipline have been replaced by
purchasing power. We buy items to tell our children how much we love them.
We reward our children with gifts if they study, do a chore, or correct a
negative behaviour. We are controlling them with rewards, physical rewards,
not teaching them the self - discipline that rewards the child by building their
self esteem. It is the inner reward that counts. People need character to
sustain themselves. Just think about yourself. Don't we all want to earn our
own way? We seek independence, not dependence. Often, people find
receiving more difficult than giving. But we are not teaching our children to
give, thus we have a "me" generation, with very low self-esteem.
One night, Master gave me an insightful dream. I was struggling to
understand the cause of the "me" generation. In the dream Master told me
that my generation, the first to raise children with television, was unknowingly,
subconsciously programmed by the commercials on television. All of the
commercials were targeted for parents who had the money to buy items for
their children and family. For example, only the best detergent for diapers, the
best baby food, the best products for cooking, etc. Every household had been
subtly programmed to create parent peer pressure, in addition to the peer
pressure created for our children. If the neighbour's child gets a Barbie Doll
that was advertised on television, the other parents in the neighbourhood feel
obligated to do the same for their child. The same peer pressure is extended
in countless ways. For example: birthday parties, dancing lessons, sports
events, etc. Rarely on television are the children programmed to give to the
parents.
In previous generations, children were trained to help. The parents taught the
children to support them and to be grateful for their parents. They learned to
help them grow crops, take care of the small children, do chores, assist in the
family business, etc. The emphasis was on the children helping the parents.
In this modern age of material comfort, the emphasis is on parents doing
everything for the child. Very rarely do you see anything on television, in the
commercials, films or sit-coms that addresses the issue of children helping
and respecting their parents? How are they to learn? How do we stop this
avalanche of self-centeredness instead of selflessness?
Master says, "Apart from educational programs, do not look at television
at all, especially while taking food. Concentrate on the work at hand,
whether it be eating or anything else." Since parents are responsible for
developing the character of their children, it is our duty to teach them the joy
of giving to others.
Parents Must Take Back Responsibility
Few are going to teach them in our western society. We parents must take the
reins. How can we do this? When the children are very young, we talk to them
about the joy of giving to others. The small child can bring the newspaper for
dad to read, the diaper for the new born member in the family, the napkin for
grandma's lap, the cookie for a friend. This is character development.
The emphasis is on the child helping first its parents, then its family members
and friends which eventually extends outwardly into society ending in service
to God, and service to man is service to God. The husband and wife set the
example by giving to each other. The child will observe and learn. But
example is never enough. Teaching must also be there; speak Master’s truths
and use discipline to influence the behaviour that is desired. If the child will
not bring a napkin to the grandparents, then you tell them why they need to
help others. "We can only give love through serving others," says Master.
It is the joy and love that we extend to others that brings true happiness
or union with God.
Now a small child may not understand what you are teaching, but you are
planting seeds to programme his sub-conscience with Master's wisdom; you
are creating and developing his future behaviour. If your emotions express
joy while you are explaining, the child will respond to the emotion. If the
child does not comply, you will need to correct the behaviour with some
form of discipline. Master says, "Discipline means the observance of
certain well-designed rules. Without such regulation it is not possible to
maintain humanness."
above article taken from impeccable sources