bjmorris's Blog

I am a new member. I don't have a degree in anything deeper than Interior Design. I have, however, been intrigued by the human spirit from the time I was a child. Are we are more than what we presently perceive? Have we had previous lives? Why is it that I am a middle child of five, and I am the only one of my siblings who feels the need to carry spiders out of my house? My mother's favorite story about me is the time that, as a child, running the sweeper, I accidentally sucked up a fly. I tore the sweeper apart trying to save the fly. The males in my famlily hunt and fish to help feed their families. My sisters love to go crabbing in the Chesapeake Bay. They will break the backs of these poor little things when cleaning them. I, on the other hand, went deer hunting with my father one time as a child. Just as he had the deer in his sights, I jumped up and yelled, "Run". He never took me hunting again. I remember saving the bugs that found themselves drowning in our little swimming pool.

My husband has stopped asking me to go fishing with him. We have an agreement, if I can take the fish off the hook without causing it too much damage that it would die anyway, I can let it go.

I eat meat. I don't have an answer for this. I love Koegle Vienna hotdogs. I love a nice steak. My husband tells me that he would understand if I were a vegetarian. I take the stand that I don't want to know where my meat comes from. It comes from the store.

Okay, I've gotten away from my point. How is it, that everyone of my family members have no problem with eating squirrel, squid or shriimp, and I can't seem to bring myself to do the same? I'm not just casual about this, but anal about it.

I know that your're probably thinking that maybe I'm adopted. As much as my sisters wanted to torture me to belive that as a child, we evolved from the same parents.

My question is; where did these feelings come from? This is not just some passing fancy. I have felt this way my whole life. I was raised in the same family, the same atmosphere as my siblings. Could this be an imprint from a former life?

I would really love to understand why my instinct is so different from the people who gave me life.