little-self

Shantnu Angelee, out of sport I did not check you. Please don’t call me a master. I am a lost soul, wandering in your sojourn. I am a seeker, a learner, not a master.
Angelee Sorry, I did not mean to hurt you. I really consider you my liberator. I overheard you, many a time, while you both were engrossed in long dialogues. I have learnt much from you. My intentions being sincere I called you my Master, from depth of my heart. Any outer symbols don’t matter, as you have said. So I attach no prefixes on you. You are what you are.
Shantnu The essence of positive tendencies is conscience.
Angelee And what are positive tendencies?
Shantnu Every aspect has its inherent qualities of good and bad. Like brightness of a day and darkness of a night. We know, it is because of the position of earth towards the sun resulting in distinction of day or night. But going beyond the sphere of the earth, there exists only brightness. So as long as we are in the grip of our senses, we have the sense of good or bad, but when dawn of knowledge awakens within us, we go beyond the realm of the mind; good and bad aspects lose their bearing. Everything appears in its original (normal) form.
Explaining it in a day to day vocabulary, whatever is done for the benefit of others, without any personal motive attached is good. And that which is done for our selfish motive is bad.
Angelee You were discussing one day about will power, what are its initial levels?
Shantnu These are power of concentration, hypnotism, auto suggestion, telepathy and instinct. All these powers are simultaneously self awakening and self destructive. If used in the search of the self or in the service of others, they are constructive for self realization. But when these are used for causing harm to others, they become self destructive because the user strays from the right path of service/self realization and is drowned in the slush of negative tendencies.
Angelee How are they harmful? It is said, these powers can attract person towards us.
Shantnu Angelee, those powers are so effective that the user can change the very character or the life style of others. Attracting a person is a small try. Even the collective thinking of a class of people can be influenced for the nefarious purposes of the user.
Angelee Then what are the defenses, one should erect before their onslaught?
Shantnu By rooting out the negative tendencies and utilizing only the positive for the benefit of others. By giving, one sheds useless burden of body as well as of the mind. Minimize your desires. That is possible when we confine ourselves to the minimum level. Interact with society and the external world, where absolutely necessary. Associate with persons/objects emitting positive tendencies only. At this stage, one confines mostly to oneself. He becomes self contained. Basing on minimum wants, one develops self-confidence. As when one only gives and does not desire things of others, his needs are merge and he sustains on himself. His confidence in the self develops. Self confidence is the store house of moral values. Thus constant association with the self leads to the development of will power, which is another name for confidence in the sell.
Angelee Now my Master, sorry, I used this word. I want to ascertain the authenticity of what you say. Not that I doubt, but there is a woman’s mind in me, which demands some clarifications from the person whom she regards her savior. I want to know whether you are attracted to me as a man or did it ever occur in your mind to have sex with me or Didi (sister). Please be sincere in your answers as I will attach much significance to them.
Shantnu My fair lady! I am very much attracted to you as a man and as a thinker. You appeal to me as a beautiful but simple woman. Though your charms are par-excellence, sensuality does not ooze out of your body. You have never appeared to me as a sensual, lust fulfilling persons. Only once while we were in the warm waters of the falls, I was momentarily drawn to you. But you might have observed I was not carnally aroused. I have seen your naked charms; you are a celestial beauty of “Kailash” (a holly mountain). You are a synonym of beauty, not just a body of flesh and blood. Beauty is to be rejoiced, extolled and praised, not to be raped and mauled.
With Umeshwari it was different, you know, I have a memory lapse, and when I found myself in the company of different women, all used my body. In a way my body has been the cause of my involvement with the fair sex. To them, I am a handsome, strong man, of immense features. They wanted to indulge and experiment with this body. Since I was in a bad shape of mind, I never could analyze my reactions. While here, I had some respite and I wanted to find out the state of my mind, as to whether I had really enjoyed their lusty behavior or I had merely been used. I checked my neutral reactions with her…
Angelee Without your telling, I know the results. You became a man in your self esteem. But what are you going to do with her, in case she wants to use your body, as others have been doing with you?
Shantnu Before replying your question, I will pose you one in return. What are your reactions towards me? I also want to see the state of mind of my would be pupil (and he laughed).
Angelee I was simply enraptured with your immense size of the body. I have never loved you and still don’t but I fear you, respect you. But previously before yesterday, I wanted to touch, and engulf your body. Woman in we craved for your body, but the love in me checked my advances. Ultimately, my love won and your body lost. Yesterday changed everything. The last nail, in the coffin of my lustful craving, was driven today. I got the better of you, which no other woman could claim as her. I got the pure love of a brother, guardian and Master. Object as much as you can, I will call you my Master, my Master, hear oh, world, if it can, I love my master, my brother, my guardian! (she shouted these words to the world at large at the top of her voice). Let the mountains hear, let the winds carry my message, let the flowing waters of river Parvati, cascade with these winds of music to the hearts of barren lands, but my words are spoken and let them carry their essence. Thus for you oh, Man, I have a woman’s heart which loves you, a sister’s affection, a pupil’s regard and the fear of the Master.
Tbc…