little-self

ls workshop) Quest In Reality………80
Angelee I don know but somehow I feel I am split in two persons, one relating to my body, mind and intellect and the other to my conscience.
Shantnu Without your being conscious about it you have rightly assessed the condition of your mind. Though your body and senses are not directly involved with my person, still your intellect is agitated and sends signals of alarm to your conscience that something is not right between you and me.
Umeshwari You mean, the functions of our intelligence is to monitor the actions of our body and its senses and differentiate the fruits thereof, as good and bad. Whereas the monitoring of intelligence is done by the conscience which discriminates the actions of our intelligence as right and wrong
Shantnu All body related (material) actions bear fruits of good and bad whereas the fruits of our subtle-body (intelligence) are in the form of right and wrong.
In your case your body and senses are not actively involved with my person but in your mind you have not been able to erase the memory of those moments, which you think were the most cherished ones and their remembrance simply swoons you to ecstatic levels, that state you compare with love.
And this is the cause of your problem. Though, outwardly, your emotions are under control and you think you are not cheating on your husband but your emotional attachment with my person, of whom only your sub –conscious is aware, gives you jitters and your conscience warns you it is not a right action of your mind.
Angelee But what wrong I am committing? I am not being unfaithful to my husband.
Shantnu But you are being unfaithful to yourself.
Angelee How?
Shantnu Because your desire for my person is wrong...
Angelee But I don't have a desire for your body?
Shantnu Then why your conscience is agitated?
Angelee Tell me, do you love me?
Shantnu Yes.
Angelee Do you love Didi?
Shantnu Yes.
Umeshwari Do you love your daughter?
Shantnu Yes.
Umeshwari Do you find any difference in the kind of love you have for all of us.
Shantnu No I love all of you equally.
Umeshwari Now, do you see my point, Angelee! His love is unselfish. It is universal. He has no distinction of bodies, relations, or attachments. He simply loves all.
Angelee Am I not free to love you, as you love Didi?
Shantnu There is a difference between your kind of love and the one in which I am merged. My love is free whereas yours is bond.
Angelee Please explain. As far as I am concerned I am as free as you are.
Shantnu Tell me, what do you mean by freedom or being free?
Angelee Of course my mind, I mean my intelligence.
Shantnu As VC of the University, you take your decisions according to the bylaws, rules of the University. As a citizen of this nation, you have to obey its rules of law and live within the confines of a society which, again is governed by conventions, customs, constitution and the laws it enacts. From childhood to death it is either the society or the nature that controls our actions.
Angelee But my thoughts are free, I mean, I am intellectually free and this freedom enables me to think, adopt, develop any kind of thoughts.
Shantnu But my dear, you are conditioned by incomplete, delusive data fed by your senses, whose capacities are very limited.
Angelee Even then, whatever capability I possess, I have the liberty to discharge its functions the way I want.
Shantnu You mean you have the ability to act freely on the knowledge (ability) acquired through the senses.
Angelee Yes.
Shantnu Then you will be merely satisfying your desires.
Angelee Please explain.
Shantnu Do you think there is difference between the freedom you enjoy at home and in the outside world?
Angelee Definitely I can sing, dance, yell or cry at my home, whereas I can't discharge these acts in society openly.
Shantnu It shows within the four walls of your house, you have freedom from society to act freely. Similarly when you think, you are intellectually free to act (think) anyway, then from whom your intellect gets freedom to act?
Angelee Obviously from my senses
Shantnu Of course, if there is bondage, only then we seek freedom.
Angelee Because I want to!
-Shantnu Or you have the urge to satisfy your desires -singing, dancing, yelling or crying?
Angelee Yes.
Shantnu Then, my dear you are merely satisfying your desires. It is not freedom.
Angelee What is the difference?
Shantnu There is a difference between the satisfaction of our desires and freedom. Satisfaction of our desires is bondage to our senses whereas freedom is a spontaneous expression, coming from our hearts for any object or any individual.
Angelee But even that too comes from the confines of our minds.
Shantnu Yes, it comes from there and not from the confines of a bonded mind, but from a free mind, which enjoys equal mindedness, hence a state of freedom. Freedom is a state which is not achieved but it is simply there. It is singular, so it does not come from some other entity. If there is a second entity, it is bond by some other agency, so we seek freedom from that. As our consciousness unshackles the bonds (influences) of body - senses - intellect combine, wisdom reveals in us the freedom that is already there.
Tbc…..