[not2too]

We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self.
Wavy Gravy

Further...
not2too

[mkirkpatrick]

Originally Posted by not2too We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self. Wavy Gravy Further... not2too

One chap had so much lack of self esteem,he did not think himself worthy of pitying!



regards michael.

[Profpat]

"One chap had so much lack of self esteem,he did not think himself worthy of pitying!"


I should have such high self esteem Michael as to not think myself worth pitying. I would dearly miss the pity parties I have for myself.

Best to all,

Pat

P.S. Nobody comes to my parties except myself.

[mkirkpatrick]

Originally Posted by Profpat "One chap had so much lack of self esteem,he did not think himself worthy of pitying!" I should have such high self esteem Michael as to not think myself worth pitying. I would dearly miss the pity parties I have for myself. Best to all, Pat P.S. Nobody comes to my parties except myself.

Are you really sure you are even there Pat,Nobody gets around his forum?

regards michael.

[not2too]

Another flavor of cosmic joke...cosmic irony...to wit...

U.S. Border Patrol uniforms are manufactured in Mexico.

When the Berlin Wall came down in 1989, so many visitors were taking souvenir pieces that a protective fence was installed, so that, yes, the Berlin Wall was guarded by a wall.

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe's 2005 state of the nation address, in which he promised to remedy his country's chronic electricity shortages, was blacked out by a power failure.

Entries for the Florida Press Club's 2005 Excellence in Journalism Award for hurricane coverage were lost in Hurricane Katrina.

etc...

not2too

[mkirkpatrick]

An Irishman working in a water treatment plant asks do you get any extra money for working weekends?Yes said his co-worker,on Sundays you get time and a turd!

Chap looking for a job sees a notice board outsite a building site,"wanted hod carriers,
£1000 per week! When can I start says the man?Right away says the foreman,I just hang
my jacket on this shed says the man!Shed says the foreman,that your HOD?


Another chap at the sewerage works was spotted trying to fish something out of the
slurry tank,what on earth are you doing said his co-worker!Trying to get my jacket
out of the pit ,it accidentally fell in,Your jacket will be no good now said his friend!I
know said the man,its not the jacket i want,but i have my sandwiches in the pocket!


regards michael.

[not2too]

Several years ago I published a limited edition of what I call tabloid haiku...haiku composed using actual tabloid headlines as a jumping off point. Here are a few for your amusement...

Fat-sucking vampires
claim two hundred and fifty
nine lives in Lima.

Cannibal chief eats
mail order brides in New Guinea.
Cops launch man-hunt.

Istanbul business
tycoon is killed by flying
carpet. Son observes.

Fisherman uses
Barbie Doll as bass lure. “Drives
the big ones crazy.”

Man knocks himself out with boomerang.
Sues himself.
Wins three hundred K.

Cincinnati corpse
bursts into flames and burns
antique hearse in strange blaze.

Corpse checkmates two morgue
attendants in Havana.
“Miguel not dead yet!”

Weirdo breaks into
gal’s apartments to brush their
teeth. Complaints increase.

1918 news
clipping shows time traveler
with cellular phone.

Man posing as
alien conned gals into free
trip to home planet.

Crippled man arrested
for drunk driving
in his wheelchair in Hamburg.

Human skunk to wed
man with no nose!
Stinking coed has rare disease.

Neighbors call cops on staggering,
beer-guzzling, chain smoking three
year old.


Best,
not2too

[not2too]

“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.”
ALAN WATTS

"Consciousness is, essentially, a tautology. You are conscious if you are aware of yourself, thus by definition if you have a consciousness you'll know it, as in knowing it exists..."
THE STRANGE LOOP

[not2too]

Here's an excerpt from an interview with God (such interviews, I think, are critical to the formulation of any TOE) by Derek Brownlee. It appears on his website http://mustbefunny.org which should be a compulsory stop on anyone's ToeQuest...or expedition in search of the ever elusive Cosmic Joke.

Interview With God
by Derek Brownlee
As published in East West Journal, September, 1975

East West Journal: Well, perhaps the best place to start is at the beginning. How did you actually create the universe?

GOD: I just imagined it, one week.

EWJ: Wasn't that a rather big job, even for you?

GOD: No, not at all. You see, all I created that first week was a garden. And, to tell the truth, it was pretty tacky. Wouldn't pass as a movie set today. But who could tell the difference? It was the only garden in creation, it was mine, and in my eyes it was perfect.

EWJ: In your eyes? How did you actually see your creation?

GOD: Aha! Very good question. I couldn't see a thing until I invented eyes. Put them on the fishes of the sea and the beasts of the field, everything that moved. That way I could keep an eye on my whole territory.

EWJ: Why did you create men? Look what a mess they have made of your garden.

GOD: You mean people. You've got to say people these days, and personkind and Dear Person. Well, it all started innocently enough back in that first week, after I had made my perfect little garden. I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted to sit in it and see it and hear it and smell it and walk around and splash in the cool clear streams and dry off in the sun's rays. So I saw to it that people had the right equipment for enjoying the world and I didn't forget to include a bit of myself. I wanted to be right there where the action was. Well, people turned out to be a mixed blessing. Refused to have a good time! Can you imagine that? Well, I suppose you can. No, don't tell me your excuses. You have no idea how much junk mail I get.

EWJ: Why do you sit back and let your world go to pot? Aren't you going to do something about it?

GOD: That's all I hear. "God do this! God do that! Hurry up, God, the car payment's due!" I don't listen to them anymore. You see a mess out there? What are you doing about it? Why do you tolerate living in a mess? Clean it up!

EWJ: Does that mean you've given up on mankind?

GOD: You mean peoplekind. That's the last time I'm going to tell you. Now what was your question?

EWJ: Have you given up on people?

GOD: Not at all. I'm having a ball with the human race. There are millions of people enjoying themselves and that is where I spend my time. There are some perfectly delightful mountain retreats and sun-washed islands where I make my home, but I'm not going to tell you where they are.

Continued on the site...

Further,
not2too

[not2too]

A couple of thoughts on - must be funny...

"Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow."
OSCAR WILDE

"Start a huge, foolish project, like Noah. It makes absolutely no difference what people think of you."
RUMI

Check it out...

Further,
not2too