When I’d been in Red Lake a month, I went over to the town hall to pick up my first paycheck. A corral was next to the building, and inside it stood a small sorrel mustang, all veined up and with saddle sweat still on his back. When he saw me, he gave me a baleful look, ears flat, and I could tell right off that was one ornery horse.
Inside the hall, a couple of deputies were lounging by a desk, hats tilted back and pants tucked into their boots. When I introduced myself, one of them-----a skinny guy with rooster legs and close-set eyes----said, “I hear you come all the way from Chicago to teach us hicks a thing or two.”
“I’m just a hardworking gal here for her paycheck,” I said.
“Before you get it, you needs to pass a simple test first.”
“What test?”
“Ride that there little fella out in the corral.”
I could tell from their sidelong glances Rooster Legs and his buddy were giving each other that they thought they were going to play a prank on the greenhorn schoolteacher. I could tell they figured I was a know-it-all about reading, ‘riting and ‘rithmetic, so they were going to put this city girl in her place when it came to the fourth R----riding.
I decided to play along with them and we’d see who got the last laugh. Fluttering my eyes and acting all coy, I said this test seemed highly unusual, but I supposed I could give the horse a try since I had ridden before, and I assumed he was a gentle creature.
“Gentle as a baby’s fart,” Rooster said.
I had on a loose dress and my sensible schoolteacher shoes. “I’m not wearing riding clothes,” I said, “but if he is as advertised, I guess I could trot him around a bit.”
‘You could ride this horse in your pajamas,” Rooster said with a smirk.
I followed the two comedians out to the corral, and while they saddled up the mustang, I went over to a hedge of juniper, broke off a nice limber branch, and stripped the twigs from it.
“Ready to pass your test, ma’am?” Rooster asked. He thought the impending disaster was going to be so hilarious that he could barely contain himself.
The mustang was standing stock-still but watching me out of the corner of his eye. He was just another half-broke horse, and I’d seen plenty of them in my lifetime. I hiked up my skirt and shortened the rein, twisting the horse’s head to the right so he couldn’t swing his hindquarters away.
As soon as I got my foot into the stirrup, he moved off, but I had him by the mane and I swung into the saddle. He immediately started bucking. By now the two guys were splitting their sides with laughter, but I paid them no mind. The way to stop a horse from bucking was to get his head up---he had to drop it to kick out with his hindquarters---and then send him forward. I popped the horse hard in the mouth with the reins, which jerked his head right up, and whaled his rump with the juniper branch.
That got the little varmint’s attention---and the comedians’ as well. We set off at a good gallop, but he was still throwing his shoulders around and fishtailing. I was following the motion, riding with my upper body loose, my heels jammed down, and my legs clamped like a vise around his sides. Rooster and his buddy were not going to be seeing any daylight between me and the saddle.
Each time I sensed the small hesitation that meant a buck was coming, I popped the horse’s mouth and whaled his rear again, and he soon learned that the only way out for him was to do what I wanted him to do. In no time he settled, and I patted his neck.
I walked the mustang back to the comedians, who were no longer laughing. Both of them had lost their patter. They were even a little slack-jawed. I could tell it was killing them that I could get the best of a horse that must have given them plenty of trouble, but I didn’t rub it in.
“Nice little pony,” I said. “Can I have my paycheck now? “