[mkirkpatrick]

Originally Posted by sillysally

So how does a mother know how to be a mother without past experience and no one to tell her? Instinct? Where does instinct come from, nature? If so, why aren't all mothers good?

That is an excellent question sillysally,what is the answer then?


regards michael.

[sillysally]

Originally Posted by mkirkpatrick

That is an excellent question sillysally,what is the answer then?


regards michael.

Being a good conscious mother is not a force of nature. Bad mothers are a cause of nature, hence their lack of conscious thought.

[sillysally]

Originally Posted by Elizabeth

Yes, I believe i do have at least most of the answer to that, but one example would be to not do another person's thinking for him when the goal is to increase thinking skills.

I agree 100%. However this begins with our children, they are taught in school knowledge, so if they are (from their beginning) encouraged to repeat what is already known and not encouraged to think on their own to find new questions and new answers (continually), then the cycle never ends.

But it needs to be taught in college first, since those are the educators for the children. Wait a minute, then the "educators" don't really need a collage degree to teach children to use their minds. So then it begins at home but with most mothers stuck in the natural animal world, this is beginning to make me angry.

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by sillysally

So how does a mother know how to be a mother without past experience and no one to tell her? Instinct? Where does instinct come from, nature? If so, why aren't all mothers good?

I don't put too much faith in instinct as it is normally regarded. I believe what is commonly considered "instinct" is actually like a routine programmed into our minds by logical inference gained through experience. If someone throws something at a toddler's head, he gets hit in the head and cries. Sooner or later he figures out that if something is coming at him fast, he should duck. As an adult he forgets these early experiences, but if someone throws something at his head, he ducks - and calls it instinct.

Motherhood would be a bit different. It is shown that hormonal differences between males and females influence behavior even from childhood. These influences cause girls to be more nurturing, even to their toys, than boys are - and boys to be more aggressive. It isn't all a matter of hormones though, or all mothers would be good, and all fathers would kill their infants (when in reality, infanticide is more commonly committed by mothers).

I relate much of this mothering "instinct" as well to experience and the goal of getting what they want. Many little girls are rewarded for their nurturing nature, and this gets programmed into their psyches as a correlation between what they do and getting what they want (rewarded in some way - as opposed to punishment like being hit in the head for not ducking). The difference between a tendancy to be a good mother or a bad mother relates in a good part (IMO) to what they want. If they determine that they will not get what they want by being a good mother, they will not be one.

I'll take my mother as an example. With her first child, she thought she wanted a child, but realized early that it wasn't what she wanted, and got her mother to raise her and moved away. When her mother determined that it was no longer necessary for her to raise her teenage grandchild, she made our mother take her back. She took her, but was a bad enough mother to her, that she ran away and was not heard from for 16 years. Nevertheless, since our mother wanted her originally, she always considered my half sister to be her only child. My mother became pregnant with me 7 years after she went through menopause, and the doctor kept telling her she was not pregnant and that I was "just gas" until a month before I was born, so my mother never considered me to be her child but rather "the thing that God sent to punish (her) for not raising (her) daughter." She then became a bad mother again, and a bad wife because she blamed my father. I understand that she was a good wife right up until she found out she had to keep the baby (me). It was merely a matter of the fact that she did not want me. There was no reward for her in being a mother, so she did not do it well.

The title of this thread is "Intelligence is experience" - and I suggest adding to the concept that also, instinct is a result of experience, and subconcious memory.

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by sillysally

I agree 100%. However this begins with our children, they are taught in school knowledge, so if they are (from their beginning) encouraged to repeat what is already known and not encouraged to think on their own to find new questions and new answers (continually), then the cycle never ends.

But it needs to be taught in college first, since those are the educators for the children. Wait a minute, then the "educators" don't really need a collage degree to teach children to use their minds. So then it begins at home but with most mothers stuck in the natural animal world, this is beginning to make me angry.

The school system could stand some improvements, including teaching children from the begining to think for themselves, and to reason. Little kids often have a pretty strong attachment to what is fair, and almost all of them can understand well enough to not be too egocentric if the fairness to the other side is explained to them in terms they can understand.

There is a lot of stuff that does need to go into their heads under rote memory, but much is also taught that they don't need or want to know. If it can be shown to a child why they need to know something, they are more motivated to learn it. If resources were not an issue, an ideal way to teach children would be to generate interest in various practical subjects and teach to their level of understanding and interests. Most kids love science before school puts a distaste for it into them. Almost all kids go through a "why" stage, and science is all about "why" - so how come there are not many scientiscts? After parents get done stifling their curiosity by telling them to stop asking so many questions or answering "because I said so" the schools tell kids they are doing science by memorizing the names of parts of a flower (and usually made to do so by teachers who have no interest in flower parts and by their attitude transmit that this is useless information anyway), so it does not take long before kids hear the word "science" and groan.

If instead the whys were taught, along with how to get the answers themselves - and any rote memory terminology slipped in as it is needed, kids could maintain that excitement, interest, and curiosity and go on to become great scientists. With more scientists, there would likely be more resources available, so having the resources to teach children in this manner would no longer be a problem. The barrier is getting the right system in place and the resources directed to improving the state of the world rather than blowing it up, and helping people learn how to live well rather than expanding the prison system.

[Aiya-Oba]

Thanks, Elizabeth Isabelle,
for bringing your high sense of dinity and scholarship to this topic.
You have elevated this thread to the very level it was intented to serve, as a vehicle for thinking and gaining new understanding about human experience.
Those that will read your contribution to this topic, will soon realize, they have gained new awareness of an old reality. You are a blessing.

Stay glorious,
Aiya-Oba.

[Aiya-Oba]

Intelligence is at its highest in all scales,as cross offspring of previous experience and current experience. -Aiya-Oba.

[mkirkpatrick]

Originally Posted by Aiya-Oba

Intelligence is at its highest in all scales,as cross offspring of previous experience and current experience. -Aiya-Oba.

Intelligence met wisdom one day along the road of discovery,who is the brightest of
us said intelligence to wisdom?Why said wisdom we are equally bright,we both stand
here and neither of us casts any shadow? (quote me!)




regards michael.

[Aiya-Oba]

Wisdom is proper use of intelligence. -Aiya-Oba.

[mkirkpatrick]

Originally Posted by Aiya-Oba

Wisdom is proper use of intelligence. -Aiya-Oba.

Sing that song brother.



regards michael.