Here's a more reasonable 'God'/Design for those so inclined,
one not made into a monster:
GOD ON TRIAL
Part 1/2
“Jehovah’s” trial for crimes
Against humanity begins thusly,
But ends well:
“Do you, God, sweareth to tellest us the whole truth
And nothing but the truth, so helpest you God?”
“Which scriptures of what bible should I swear on?
There are so many.”
“Oh; here’s a Mormon bible with a whole extra section
That was transcribed from the golden plates You sent.”
“I didn’t send those plates.”
“OK, let’s not worry about that now;
We’ll come back to it later.
You are truthful, are you not?”
“I can do no evil, and that includes not lying.”
“Finally, a believable defendant.
What is your full name?”
“‘God Damnit’ is what I am usually called.”
“Ha-ha, but what is your real and proper name?”
“None. I am what I am.”
“Um, any aliases, like Lord,
Jehovah, Almighty, or such?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, those are just some names that people call me,
Plus even the very bad names.”
“But you do exist as you are?”
“Depends on what the meaning of ‘exists’ is.”
“You know, like ‘to be’, being One that is.”
“Depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.”
“Is that your lawyer, Bill Clinton, sitting over there?”
“Yes, for he can get out of anything.”
“But is he going to talk endlessly in your defense?”
“No, he has been going to ‘On and on anon’.”
“Good, now how come we can hear
You but we can’t see You?”
“I am invisible, plus, you are schizophrenics.”
“Hey, no name calling, order in the court!”
“I’ll have a cheeseburger, no pickles, no onions.”
“That’s more like it.
So you mean we are just hearing voices?”
“Yes—do you remember the study that showed
That 17% percent of priests are schizophrenic,
But only 1-2% of the general population is?”
“Oh, yeah, but You’re not getting off that easily.”
“I am innocent.”
“What did You do before You Created everything?”
“I was being made Myself by Myself.”
“How did You do that?”
“Recursively.”
“OK, anyway,
Did you have intercourse with a teen-age virgin?”
“Hell, no, she was underage;
I only date 30 billion year old women.”
“Still single?”
“Yes, for as Mr. Always Right
I could just never find Miss Perfect.”
“So, Jesus was not Your son then?”
“No, but he was a really good guy—
A human telling stories
That everyone expected to hear.”
“But, anyway, you are a ‘He’?”
“So they usually say.”
“Don’t You know?”
“No, for humans created Me in their own image
And with their own traits, so I am male.”
“Jealous of any of their other imaginary gods?”
“I am above all that lowly human-type emotion stuff.
I am Perfectly Good and absolutely totally full of Love.”
“Love is a human emotion.”
“That is the only emotion I have,
For it is the ultimate one.”
“So, You never do evil?”
“Depends on what ‘evil’ is.”
“Well, as in things
Like harming others, except in self defense,
Stifling the growth of mind,
And creating false ways of living,
Arbitrarily, through use of imagination
Of what the concept of good ‘should be’.”
“I am not capable of evil.
I detest evil.
I would hate Myself if I did evil.
It is unthinkable.
Then I would be in the category of a devil.”
“Is there a Devil?”
“No, I would not tolerate any such thing,
For then it would sway humans to sin.”
“You appear to be without fault,
But we still have to continue this trial.”
“Thank you, but I have no-fault insurance.”
“Did you murder almost everyone
On earth with a Great Flood?”
“Heck no, human nature is exactly
The way it is supposed it to be, as is.
What do you think!
God not a big fat goof, that is, if He was involved.
He doesn’t make mistakes.”
“Some say that you invented the rainbow
To proclaim that You made a mistake,
Claiming that You would never do it again.”
“Preposterous. Rainbows are an optical effect.”
“Do You ever do anything wrong?”
“I can’t. I am all Love.”
“Did you give too much love, perhaps?”
“Yes, I give near infinite amounts,
But there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“What was the purpose
Of having dinosaurs around
For 650 million years,
Then extincting them via asteroids?”
“Just playing around;
Actually, I had nothing to do with it.”
“What was the Intelligent Design in this?”
“There wasn’t any, for I do not exist.
Can I go now?”
“No, we know that nonexistence trick.
Whose side are you on in football games?”
“I don’t take sides or play favorites.”
“Then where do humans
Get all these ideas about You?”
“You know humans—they just make things up.”
“Is there a Hell,
Like maybe in the heart of the sun?”
“No, there is no Hell.
I wouldn’t torture my beloved creatures
If I were God.
Would you torture a kitten?”
“Some would, but, hey,
It is You that is on trial here, not us.
We only have our human nature
That You may have given us
And it can often go astray.”
“True, plus I am a nice Guy, the nicest ever.
I would not fill your cup to the brim with temptations
And then expect you not to spill it.
I’m a giver, not a taker.
Pure love is all giving;
There are no strings attached.”
“Thanks. Does our free will have to match your will”?
“Heavens no, for that wouldn’t be free will, would it?”
“So, there’s not even a purgatory,
Like somewhere on Venus?”
“Negative.”
“How do humans come up with all these things?
They make You out to be some kind
Of strict enforcer father figure type.”
“That’s it; they modeled the family experience.”
“Is there a Heaven?”
“Yes.”
“Ah-ha, where is it?”
“On Earth. What more could human beings want?”
“Oh, well they want everything
And even think they are special and above all else,
Some even above their own kind.”
“Nope, humans are as organic as anything in nature.
Anyone can see that.”
“Well, we have imagination.”
“Yes, a gift of Nature, but that’s all it is.”
“Did You publish a book?”
“Yes, but no, for ghost writers wrote it.”
“Any movies coming out?”
“No, it would be hard to beat ‘The Dark Knight’.”
“No Commandments were ever issued?”
“Love does not command; it frees.”
“That’s true.
So You are innocent of all charges
And plead not guilty?”
“How many times do I have to tell you.
I am Absolute Good.”
“Ever tell a white lie?”
“No way, Jose. I am the Truth.”
“Ever peek at a naked person.”
“Of course, God made people that way.
If He didn’t want it that way,
They’d be born with clothes or fur.
Some fools even put fig leaves over Eden’s artwork.”
“I must confess to You, God,
That I sometimes think of people naked.”
“No sweat, plus that’s also a way
To make public speaking easier.
I am naked Myself. It’s OK.”
“Ever stick gum somewhere
When no one was looking?”
“No, for I was looking.”
“You are a saint!”
“Higher than that. I am Perfect,
At least before I got conceited about it.”
“Ah-ha.”
“Just joking.”