I'm starting to have quite some doubts about the medication I receive. I'm talking about methylphenidate (like Ritalin) and antidepressant. At first I was happy with it, but the more familiar I get with the medication, the more skeptical I become. I've a strong feeling that it's suppressing my spiritual side. I don't like that.
So I stopped taking the antidepressant without consulting my psychiatrist (I didn't think he would approve and I hate being under someone else's control). That may have been foolish and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else, but I wanted to exert my own free will because I felt I wasn't doing that enough. This feeling was stronger than my fear of the risks. It's been two weeks now. I've become more insecure, frightened, and annoyed than before. But you know what? I like this better. This may sound weird, but I feel more human now and have a better grasp of what's wrong with me. I can get upset about losing at computer games again, like when I was a child. That means I've things I care about. I was lacking that somewhat before. I believe that these feelings are necessary for spirituality. Without feelings, you have no soul.
Do you believe certain types of medication can suppress spirituality? And is spirituality important? And if it is, can it be beneficial in some cases to suppress it anyway? For example take someone who is considered to be psychotic, because he can't handle his spiritual nature (not implying that all psychotic people are only having difficulties dealing with their spiritual nature). Should he get medication? Or should he learn to deal with his spiritual nature? What about someone who can't concentrate very well without Ritalin?
I wonder what you guys think.


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