A pina colada please

[munty13]

I'll have a pina colada, please!

(Why has the pub suddenly gone quiet?)

And don't forget to put an umbrella in it. I like the way it tickles my nose.

[dleviwing]

Dave calls the bartender over and whispers in his ear: “I think you may want to check that young man’s ID”.

[munty13]

Well, then I shall delicately wipe the milky-creamy-moustache from my upper lip before I ....SLAM..... my Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Membership Card on the bar.

And I shall say, very proudly, "You see, I am 36 years old." And then, "Be careful with that card. I don't want to put a crease in it."

[Robert]

The bartender picks up and closely inspects the Mickey Mouse card then says, "Welcome to the Pub, Munty! This card entitles you to 50% off our free drinks!".

[munty13]

Cool as a cucumber I dip my fingers into my breast pocket, and pull out another card - a library card (which unfortunately has my 3 year old daughter's name on it but is as good as mine).

"And this should cover the other 50% of my free drink."

[Robert]

The bartender picked up the library card, rubbed his thumb across it, and watched how the letters smeared as he did so. He turned to Munty and said, "Right it does! You are entirely covered for your free drink". The bartender returned the library card and set down a Pina Colada in front of Munty with a big red cherry to top it off.

The bartender rubbed his chin and wondered, "There was something odd about that library card". Next he rubbed his nose, scratched his cheek, wiped some sweat off of his forehead, and then headed for the next customer. Little did he know that the ink from the library card, was transferred to his thumb and now it was all over his face. He looked quite funny but nobody dared laugh at him.

[racecar]

It's five o'clock somewhere...may I have a pomegranate margarita, mixed, please?

[Robert]

"Yes Ma'am you may, but first may I see your daughter's library card"? The bartender still had those funny dark smudges all over his face plus he had a white mustache, clear evidence that he had sampled some of Munty's Pina Colada before giving it to him.

[munty13]

I shall give the bartender a gentle, disapproving glare as I roll my eyes from my drink to his milk moustache. He guiltily wipes it from his upper lip. The milk moustache has been replaced by a drawl of black ink that gives the impression of a handle-bar moustache. Justice has been served.

[racecar]

Stunned silly by the ever changing mustache parade the lady recovers with only a slight smile in her eyes and pulls out a very clean library card with a boy's name on it. "My daughter keeps her library card with her at all times. I just pulled this one out of the wash...will it pass?".