"Norm"

[Tarina]

The giant bird flew on to the secret location of the centre. Austin and Tarina were deep in thought, the mission was a dangerous one, one that Questor handled like he handled everything else, expertly, and with swiftness not seen before, since the demise of the agent left behind in egypt, presumed dead. And also, the death was witnessed by all aboard the craft. He was however about to make a comeback...........

[austintorn@aol.com]

The Mummy Returns, having been too wrapped up in himself? Oh, there's the door bell. King Tut is knocking.

[leskey]

It's free and easy at the 'Many Worlds Pub.' One of those places where anything goes: new "worlds" pop in and out of existence at the whim of the ToE Questors who visit there.

Games...self-indulgent, verbose circumlocution...anyone can play.



The creature perceived relative sanctuary in the inner confines of the enclosure, and retreated before the other's advance...

The child peered dispassionately into the dimness from the small doorway, large, clear, intelligent eyes in a pale face, backlit by a halo of sunlight. The creature continued to squark and scuttle about...a trite, indignant protest emanated from the far corner. The arm holding the pole extended into the space and flailled dauntingly in the creature's general direction...

This child had once known horror...unrelenting terror ('The Mummy" was a nightmare!)...now forgotten. In one so young, the effect was congealing; before long, it had calcified and an immature psyche was rendered impotent. Now, the only input was in the form of cold, hard data...learning the methods to manipulate the objects that entered it's frame of reference...

The creature, now bloodied and betrayed by the slippery foulness of it's own effluvia, cowered poigniantly in the corner. The arm and it's pole extention withdrew. Once again, the child's countenance filled the doorway, head cocked to one side, eyes gradually adjusting to the lack of interior light. Long moments passed while the intense and uncomprehending stare absorbed the misery in the gloom. Then, a steely glint - the evanescence of some new realization, and the child was gone.

If only the creature had not interpreted the child's previous intrusion as threatening. If only it had defied nature and remained impassive. The response had, afterall, been no more than instinct...

The child, on the other hand, had no real concept of the creature. The creature had singled itself out for the child's attention - that's all. This child was not perturbed. It would act out of opportunism - because it could...instinct was non-existent; there was just action. Naturally, it was nothing personal.

This would not be their last encounter...

[Graybeard]

If only the creature had not interpreted the child's previous intrusion as threatening. If only it had defied nature and remained impassive. The response had, afterall, been no more than instinct...

This would not be their last encounter...

[austintorn@aol.com]

(Indeed, the pub is a place where imaginations and selves may indulge and run free. There is fun, companionship, adventure, random thoughts and directions going and growing. One can leave their stresses, jobs, and worries outside. One can relax and take a break from the debates of the regular threads. Fantasize, stream-of-conscious, sociality, stories—it doesn’t matter. Many thanks to Tarina and others for bringing new life to the pub and the public square. To be social is to bond and get to know one another better. Of course there is the occasional gory scene of too much imbibing and the almost obligatory and graphic descriptions of subsequent barfing and falling down drunk, but, too, we now go beyond that usual staple. Also some absolutely true and nearly secret tales of intelligence agencies.)

[austintorn@aol.com]

Another drink brought another story…

A briefing was held: Iran was still unstable and yet again had almost accumulated enough nuclear material to build a bomb to wipe their enemy off the face of the Earth. (It was their doom that they advertised this aim.) Their new facility was now underground, being impervious even to bunker-buster missiles, and it was now ultra secure, there being no way to get into it or even close to it.

“Ideas, Major Questor? There has to be a way in, for everything leaks, does it not?.”

“How do they breathe in the control room?”

“It is a completely self-contained system of internal oxygen, reconstitution, purification, and ventilation.”

“And what is it that is always necessary in air and plumbing systems in order to equalize the air and water pressure?”

“A small vent, such as comes out of anyone’s house roof.”

“How do we get to it, General?”

“We, as people, we cannot, for we would be detected.”

“But a little radio-controlled ‘car’ could.”

“A bomb will not fit down that tiny shaft.”

“Dragon, I do believe that you are leading me on and you already know the answer.”

“I am and I do. I just like engaging your mind, old buddy.”

“How it is, Dragon, that we can speak so freely to each other, without the ‘sirs’ and deference and such, regardless of the difference in our ranks?”

“Once I was you Questor—a long time ago, and perhaps one day you shall be in my position. Please continue.”

“We’ll pour the deadliest acid known to man down the little pipe via a little remote-controlled wagon with a video camera on it. When this shit hits the fans, it will spray all over the place and eat through anything and everything.”

“Major, my good man, how can we cart an ultimate acid around that can destroy any container? Nothing can hold the universal acid; that’s why they never make it.”

“Exactly. We will use its safe compounds, pouring one down and then the other upon it. When they mix, the uncontainable universal acid will be formed.”

“Good work, Major Questor. That’s what every kid dreams of in Chemistry class. They visualize it coming out in China and zapping some poor unsuspecting guy.”

“When can we get this thing designed and built, sir?”

“Dear sir, our own Section 0 just built it yesterday. We’re off in an hour.”

… (The fine details of this still classified mission cannot be posted due to their confidential nature. However, Questor and his angelic partner, whose name is Top Secret, had a wonderful and youthful time guiding the little radio-controlled vehicle, which was pained black, though the dark shadow areas cast by a pillar and more. There was no radar up to 2 feet above the ground, as it would have been constantly set off by squirrels, rabbits, and mice and such.)

The mission succeeded; now it was time to leave.

The stealth aircraft entered Iranian airspace, low and undetected, landing on a very long driveway of an estate secretly owned by the CIA, then quickly turned about. The DIA team then boarded it and the craft was soon up and away, its takeoff naturally alerting the Iranians. They sent up some interceptors, as was expected, but observed nothing, as was expected, for the stealth jet was now climbing to 50,000 feet and nearly achieving a mach 3 speed.

Austin and his paramour, having up to now been pressed back into their seats by the G-forces, got up and retired to a private room in the back of the plane. Magic Dragon lifted an eyebrow, it seemed, but it was really just a secondary effect of his wide and happy grin, for he, too, was young once.


The next day the President sat down to read his daily news briefing:

STRANGE PROBLEM SHUTS DOWN IRANIAN NUCLEAR REACTOR; IRREPAIRABLE DAMAGE AND RADIOACTIVE LEAKAGE; SITE CEMENTED OVER.

A smile crossed the President’s face on a day now brightened by one less problem in this dreary world of so many irrational governments and beings.


A few days later, Questor received a call from Magic Dragon, in which he asked, “Ever been to Tahiti?”

Questor replied, “No, but I’d sure love to go.”

“Well, Questor, we, DIA, are not going there. Ha-ha.”

“Darn.”

“But you are, Questor, with the one of your choice, compliments of the DIA. Relax and re-energize and enjoy this fair paradise of French Polynesia!”

“Should I think about Egypt while I’m there?”

“Sure, if you like. Ever been there?”

“So long.”

[Mikal]

INTO SPACE?

(Actual ToeQuest Dialog from the Past)

Farewell cruel world! We are blasting off to form new Edens. Only we humans can do it. A dog went into space once, but stuck its head out the window and ruined the whole mission. A monkey went, but started fiddling with all the controls and crashed. They say we should send women into space, but I like them so let’s keep them around.

New worlds are so numerous that we can each have one of our own. All those claims of “If I ran the world…” can now be so realized. Bon voyage. Hasta la vista.

Good post, Austin, ‘cept sage says the role of man should be to send all the woman into space so they will not keep trying to feed us the apple and they are after all more adaptable to have children on their own with some simple donations from a male they can take with them (cost less that way). And we can deteriorate with cloning a little sooner then later and solve the problems of the world which do seem to hinge on Man not knowing His role ... heh heh ... get a dog! lol Graham.

It’s a man’s world, Graham. I was reading about Tycho Brahe in the Farmer’s Almanac and it said that he did amazing things, even with a nagging wife, but think of how much more he could have accomplished if your suggestion had been in place then. Do I hear the whoosh of a stick? I believe I may see stars soon.

Women even ask men to do things, plus saying when, even adding how (easy), but they can only pick none, maybe one if we are in a good mood. Do I hear Bo Peep coming? Better give her some space. Uh, oh, my phone is ringing.

“Hi Peepers. Honey, I am far away. How’s it going in space? Oh, you went the wrong way and took a turn for the worse without men around. I’ll be right there after I make 10 millions posts. Bye. What? I have to put a light bulb? OK, I’ll do it first thing tomorrow. Huh? You’re breaking up. Can’t hear you. My dopamine is getting low; I have to go off and have some fun in restoring it.”

OK, the role of mankind is to send womankind into space so that men can have some room. “To the moon, Alice!” Once a deaf man and a blind woman had a good marriage. He couldn’t hear the commands to pick up the stuff that she couldn’t see. Uh, oh, I have to go erase an e-mail. Too late…

“Hi honey, I’m out with Graham. We are seeing who can pee the farthest furthest, since we drank a lot. You are using telepathy? Please, I asked you not to call me here. Oops, I am passing out; my mind is going blank, then I have to meditate the rest of the day.”

OK, Graham, now we can get down to serious business. Uh, oh, the new GrandMaster Grandmother of all broomsticks just flew in. Now what?

“Oh, Hi sweetie, your internet is working? I thought I fixed that good. What, it’s cold in the hex house that you are in on Saturn? Put more crystals on the fire. What! I have to move the earth closer? Well, I don’t have a lever that long, plus I have no place to stand, so I really can’t stand it. Oh? Graham made me say those things. Huh? A figamagig fell off? Better go see a doctor.”

Hi Graham... whoops!

“Honey, why don’t you want to eat the apple, like they say an apple a day keeps the doc away!!! Also makes you fully conscious....

Sweetie: We sent a woman/teacher into space and the spacecraft blew up... not a good idea and also not too many women want to have children without the aid of a man.... there is no loving moments in cloning, in fact that just sounds ugly cold... Walk your dog a little longer and further and you might me some nice woman out walking her dog longer and further... — Graham”

“Austin, that whoosh was just Bopeep’s staff... never fear she was just changing it to the other hand.... Yeh, you heard BoPeep coming and because you did not answer my call from Saturn, you are now jinxed and so is Graham...”

Best Menopause Question Ever:

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman’s Answer: One!
ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL!!

“I’m sorry. What was the question, dear?”

AHH Austin ... when you wake up from that bump on your head, say that I decided to go surfing with sage and Father Michael who says there are too many pheromone warning signs here (whine whine) .. exit stage left.

“OH HI HON.... SEE U LATER! Honey, I can’t screw in a light bulb because it’s too small for me to get into, plus how would we get you in there, too?”

OK, Graham, let’s talk about that sexagon house. Should we make it our castle and have some women pause?”

“Thought I better let you know that I’m still here... I’m just being real quiet.... smiles. —BoPeepers”

“Well, Honey, don’t touch anything or knock over our experiments or we’ll have to give you the TOE of the boot. It’s bad enough that we had to give a rib.”

Graham, she’s gone; now let’s get this moonshine device working properly.

“Go ahead you guys.... kill your brain cells... smiles...”

To extend an artificial flower is to mock the depth and beauty of a real flower which breathed itself into life, bloomed and wept its sultry expression back into the earth.
To embalm that is play cruelly with wit....to bury it is to deeply forgive with a new wound in your heart yet turn your face bravely to the tempestuous nature of life....


Mikal

[Tarina]

It was not the mummy, it is however the creature of light, the creature of loves lost, and still the creature emnates love, yet despair as well..........

[Tarina]

To extend an artificial flower is to mock the depth and beauty of a real flower which breathed itself into life, bloomed and wept its sultry expression back into the earth.
To embalm that is play cruelly with wit....to bury it is to deeply forgive with a new wound in your heart yet turn your face bravely to the tempestuous nature of life....


Mikal

I understand perfectly, and shall I step back and away? If it so pleases you Mikal. I did not enter this site to be cruel, I have never been cruel, I am a lover of people..... And I cherish my friendships like I cherish my children-fully.

[Tarina]

(Indeed, the pub is a place where imaginations and selves may indulge and run free. There is fun, companionship, adventure, random thoughts and directions going and growing. One can leave their stresses, jobs, and worries outside. One can relax and take a break from the debates of the regular threads. Fantasize, stream-of-conscious, sociality, stories—it doesn’t matter. Many thanks to Tarina and others for bringing new life to the pub and the public square. To be social is to bond and get to know one another better. Of course there is the occasional gory scene of too much imbibing and the almost obligatory and graphic descriptions of subsequent barfing and falling down drunk, but, too, we now go beyond that usual staple. Also some absolutely true and nearly secret tales of intelligence agencies.)

This is as true as we dare say, isn't that right Austin Honey? I am deeply indebted to you for letting my flower bloom once again, and to write is to let your imagination soar, with the great side effect of the bonds that develop while we share the threads and stories and the true parts as well.....