Where am I?

[G_burnett]

Unaware of what was going on outside of the Pub and as Leskey was professing not much in the pub for that matter being on his hands an knees he was sure of one thing as he tried to pry out some still held pills, there was some real scary sights to be seen from down there ... Carly's friend would have none of him down there so graham was picked up by his nostrils and sat back down on his stool immediately in love that would never work.

Trying hard though to be friendly he offered up a chance for her to put a nose ring on but she declined.

Katrina showing up and skidding in on her long nails from the portal that had opened for her spun to a stop of forward motion at his feet to raise her hackles and growl a bit, (not fooling any one with her tail wagging) and got a pickled egg from the bartender as a treat.

Dip came in dressed in a loin cloth and covered in a red powder from some exotic festival he must have ran into and making all sneeze and swear he was getting all the dry cleaning bills expected.

The acute hearing of Carly ever attentive to things and Katrina with her own hearing ability looked at the warp hole portal when Dip came in as a strange clop clop clop wiggle wiggle wiggle sound could be heard when the portal Pub door had been opened. ...

Trying to acquire some dignity and poise back and act manly before labelwrench might come in graham asked for a 110 proof double on ice of Jack Danial's and hunching over his drink when it came he peered through the mirror reveal of the way all really were through the magic looking glass hanging behind the bar. ...

[labelwench]

.....and was startled to find Labelwench looking straight at and through him, one eyebrow arched, while she playfully swung her black riding crop in slow mezmerizing arcs ......

Graham paused, his quite forgotten drink halfway to his parted lips.

The craftsmanship of the finely braided whip and her supple leather gloves was exquisite. Graham was beginning to notice such details.Labelwench was obviously a high maintenance model.....

Just as suddenly, Graham found himself looking at his own reflection! Was that a glimpse of the 'Wench he had just seen? Or a playful little fantasy of his own?

Graham tried to act nonchalant as he glanced around, wondering if anyone else had been watching the mirror.....

[austintorn@aol.com]

“I see everything,” the mirror noted. “Yes, it was LabelWench, the lone female dog sledder of the Yukon, gracefully striding away into the ice fog. She can only speak the truth. For that talent, her appearance is both loved and feared.”

[baudrunner]

Here, of all places, in the allworld's pub I encounter the body of the James of the Joyce from whence that worm emanates, prone betwixt the smallish round tables scavenged from the Old York Hotel in London Town, as I tread precariously in the very lowest of lights toward that place where pee accumulates only to be recycled into "vintage" brew via the complex plumbing that wastes nothing in this rarest of spaces, that of this hellish yet heavenly place - up there, here, I know not where exactly. I shrug images of the exagerrated pouted visages I reccolected from the dusty recesses of my video memory - a starwarsthing I gather, though I must admit, the place does nothing to appease my quest for the security that a paranoicless boredom delivers me in my normal meloncholy state of being. At least, I know puinctuation! I am happy, but it is as always just an illusion.

[labelwench]

As buadrunner entered the pub, all conversation ceased.
It was He. The personification of a turn of the century grammar instructor. Pacing the rows between the desks with his authoritarian bearing, cracking his swagger stick sharply against his tall leather riding boots.

His pacing was interrupted by an occasional pause as he scrutinized the work of a student. If it was found lacking, and many were, there would be an abrupt whack of the stick on said unfortunate's knuckles, with a yelp of pain from the offender.

A slight smile played the corner of the lips of the one known
as baudrunner. Another errant had been brought to the true path.

Such were the thoughts of those who gazed upon the stern one who took it upon himself to announce,

"At least,
I know puinctuation! "

Quote taken from post. Please note spelling. LW

[G_burnett]

As the bartender ran of Jack and started pouring Tequila getting into the spirit of the western theme of high leather boots and the crack of the whip of one no nonsense patron, Graham maintained a low profile immersed in the magic mirror reveal of all behind him and the never the empty glass in his hand.

"Hi... big boy..." "nice hat you got on..." the feminine voice went on but in the mirror all graham could see was a hand reaching around to his own and quick as a wink his drink was being guzzled ...

"NO! STOP!" he yelled seeing something strange at the bottom of the glass but too late as into the sweet lips of
Labelwench of no minor serving wench, the bosom body would fail to envy, we could hear "hic-wiggle, wiggle- wiggle-hic-wiggle, wiggle, wiggle-hic .. "

"IT IS ROBERT! ...someone yelled, as then Labelwench proudly had him on her tongue exposed to show she was going to swallow ...

Surprised at the yell and still a bit fuzzy from the hard core Mexican moonshine crippler shot she had downed now doing the burn to her throat with such surprise she coughed Robert high into the rafters of haziness and back into a vortex portal he had come out of in the first place to land in the bottle of Tequila grahams drink had poured from .. and disappeared again.

"well at least Robert is having fun," some one said... as raw lemon after raw lemon was being sucked dry till all 26 in the bowl were gone in less then thirty seconds by a glossy eyed but still quite pertly Labelwench ... smiling coyly at graham ...

[G_burnett]

As graham pondered sucking face with Labelwrench and was puckering up for a shared lime taste expect feeling his duty he caught a glimpse in the mirror of tiny movement on the floor near the bar.

a closer look look in the reflection of the mirror which at varied times picks up things most patrons would not see and worried about the bar losing its auto clean program that takes care of the disposal of rodents in a subroutine function, sure enough behind the bar were a great mass of quickly moving nanobots that must have replicated beyond the sensing parameter of the clean up and disposal lasers. Easily to understand in the new tec of operational speeds in the small.

They must have been bored no longer infecting the nasal cavities of the patrons an now evolved. How they evolved ever a mystery in any species it was more the interest what they were doing.

It seemed like they were working on a briefcase of some sort ....

[austintorn@aol.com]

Whenever Austin reads something on TQ, he is reminded of something he read.

The great hardwood forests of the north grew after the glaciers scraped away all the earthworms. Now they are back, from fishermen, and are destroying those forests, albeit only at about the rate of 15 feet a year.

So, an earthworm is mighty indeed!


Back to Graham puckering up to kiss Labelwench…

[labelwench]

Labelwench was quite horrified that she had almost ingested Robert. That same entity, forced to utilize his chemical defense of "tastes bad, very, very bad" in order to facilitate his escape from the situation, (which under other circumstances might well have held appeal), was the reason for which Labelwench was deploying lemon to her lips with reckless abandon.

Robert, either in embarrassment or appreciation for his unexpected moment of personal intimacy with the 'Wench from the north, had ordered a double round of Tequila shooters for all of the patrons of the pub.

(He had a salesman for clean up technology coming by the next morning and decided he might as well test the limits of whatever line of product the unfortunate was attempting to flog.)

"Let me show you how this is properly done between friends", announced the 'Wench. "I'll need a volunteer", she continued, and her eyes came to rest on Graham. All the pub patrons fell silent, drinks held expectantly, as they awaited this demonstration. She gently placed a fresh slice of lemon between Graham's lips.

All eyes were on Graham as she unbuttoned the top two of his shirt and asked him to tip his head slightly to one side, revealing his jugular. "This is an exercise in trust", said she. "You will not be harmed. Shall I continue?"

Graham, not quite trusting his voice, nodded affirmatively.

Labelwench was holding one of the drinks in her hand, and passed one to Graham. She dipped her index and middle fingers into the venerable liquid and then drew them damp, in a stroke, along the neck of motionless Graham. "You must close your eyes, lest I get salt in them, please." So Graham closed his eyes and salt was sprinkled on the trail of moisture on his neck. Awaiting further instructions, eyes still closed, Graham did not see what followed next.

At a signal from Labelwench, Caramel stepped near. 'Wench knocked back her drink, thence stepped lithely to the saddle, greatly appreciating the very high ceilings in this establishment.

Caramel stretched out her neck and with her velvet tongue, did lick the salt off the neck of Graham, who was trying not to writhe in public, while enduring the warmest, moistest, softest kiss he had ever known,....of late, anyway....

.....which was rudely interrupted by the clatter of hooves, hoots, hollers and raccous shrieks of appreciation that followed Labelwench departing, the karaoke machine lamenting, "this is where the cowboy rides away"....

[austintorn@aol.com]

(That's a funny one, LW, an instant classic!)