Daily Laughter

[Mikal]

Medical Test and more..

How to tell if your feet stink. Keep on scrolling down.





Because I want you to get checked out to make sure you're healthy and will be around longer ...

Scroll Down for more complete check out procedures.







MEDICAL TEST



STARE INTO THE CAT'S EYES FOR 10 SECONDS ...

Then Scroll Down






NOW STARE INTO THE PUPPY'S EYES FOR 10 SECONDS ...






Scroll Down






Your CAT SCAN

and LAB TESTS

are now complete








- couldn't resist...

[Mikal]

Well computer glitch again....it was supposed to reveal a cat and a dog...its being testy today....


Mikal.....chuckles

[Mikal]

Wal Mart Applicant revealed...Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in California . They hired him because he was funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)
SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one whowill cooperate) DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes.
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Page 2
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment . MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50 lbs.?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?' HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIALAWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so theytell me. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FI VE YEARS?:Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BESTOFYOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. ***Old People Rock! ***

[austintorn@aol.com]

[leskey]

No...they do #6 in New Zealand, too. Why is that???

[austintorn@aol.com]

(I guess they have too much stuff that they never use.)

[racecar]

http://www.daviddarling.info/encyclo...cal_jokes.html

[austintorn@aol.com]

[melanie]

Children Writing About The Sea.......You can't buy this stuff. BRILLIANT !
Pure Gold

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don't have
sea all round you, you are incontinent.
( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head.
(Billy age eight)

6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs.
(Emily Burniston age 5)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating
beans.
(William age 7)

eight) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
How do mermaids get pregnant?
(Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my
willy small.
(Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age
eight)

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up
her fanny.
(Julie age 7).

[austintorn@aol.com]