T.o.N. (Theory of Nothing)

[N0B0DY]

There's a concept of a breathing universe, in the form of big bang and big crunch cycles. Not sure if the big bang represents the inhalation or exhalation, but it is based on a central universal point of contraction and expansion with no outside to this inflatable point.

There are different big bang scenarios, but all have a common center that can justify the big bang. Even if the bang was a one-time deal, Lloyd's proposed contraction by cold can produce the necessary condition for expansion.

It is the cause for the inflationary era prior to the big bang that cannot be justified because the expansion is said to occur everywhere in infinite space. For those like myself who don't believe in the big bang arising from eternally existing matter, there is a required cause for the inflation.

I have tried to find a cause on the space and motion site, and on RP's as to how outwaves are produced from centers that are everywhere. I have yet to find any plausible explanations, and it leaves me no choice than to proclaim that the universe is static.

Other than this causality paradox, your idea is top ten in my opinion.

[Profpat]

Nobody, every inch of bone and fiber in my body screams out dynamic movement.

But my mind says illusion.

??????????????????????????????

Pat

[mkirkpatrick]

Nobody, every inch of bone and fiber in my body screams out dynamic movement.

But my mind says illusion.

??????????????????????????????

Pat

Pat please forgive this intrusion,(trust your mind)???????????????????


regards michael.

[Profpat]

You know that would mean that You and I and my children and grandchild are also all illusion.

And so I cling to this dream as real.

Best,

Pat

P.S. Never an intrusion always a welcome guru

[austintorn@aol.com]

(Part 12)

Tunnel Vision

Fredrick, a master of foreign languages, took a short vacation from working on nothing and was out and about the town and sitting in a restaurant awaiting a delicious roast duck when he received an emergency evacuation order from Nobody’s ninjas to immediately hoof it over to the train station. Ciao, chow, he thought to himself.

On his way out he grabbed a cheeseburger from someone who wasn’t looking and calmly walked out the front door and down the street. Looking back, he saw the police surrounding the restaurant, as well as his car. Holy King Tut’s tomb, he exclaimed. They really want to control the world with the TOE!

He patted his underarm, checking that his pistol was still there and sauntered down the street. How did they find me? he thought. His cell phone rang and a voice said, “How find you, Mr. Fred, is by pyramid in front yard. Please proceed train station. 9:05 train north. Hurry. Click.”

Fredrick walked and jogged a ways without further incident and entered a tunnel that would take him under the tracks to the station. He hesitated, at first, seeing that the tunnel was dimly lit by only a single light bulb in the center, but then moved on in, not wanting to miss the train.

His cell phone began ringing off the hook and alerted him as follows: “4 KGB red sedans arriving each end of tunnel. Make good plan fast!”

Fredrick reflected a moment, sizing up the scene. He quickly walked to the center of the tunnel, took off his sweater, draped it over his shoulder, and stood under the light. He could hear the red KGB sedans screeching to a halt at each end, some of them going a bit too far and denting their fenders. Very poor drivers, he thought.

Eight KGB agents entered the tunnel and three approached from either direction, the remaining two staying back as rear guards, one at each end. “Hands up,” said the KGB leader in English, as they all pointed tranquilizer guns at Fredrick, front and back.

“No.”

“Must I repeat the command; raise up your hands or go to sleep!”

“No,” replied Fredrick, “I must know who asks me?”

The agents approached a bit closer. “I am famous Colonel Patov—you will follow orders or be subdued and severely beaten. Behind you is Demetri, my best and most merciless captain, with his team. You have no where to go, Fredrick. Raise your hands, be searched, and come with us peacefully and we won’t even have to use the tranquilizer darts.”

“Okay,” answered Fredrick, “as long as you put it that way.”

The agents approached slowly from Fredrick’s front and back as he began to raise his hands. They were about twenty feet away now. “No contest,” said Fredrick, “I’ll be passing on to the other side. It’s lights out for me!”

Fredrick raised his hands quickly and smashed the light bulb, attached his sweater to the fixture, having noted the spot beforehand, slipped off his shoes and left them there, and let out a blood curdling scream that seemed to echo from all directions at once. The KGB thought Fredrick was charging them, but in actuality he had just slipped sideways noiselessly without shoes and had squatted down, hugging the wall of the tunnel that had just been plunged into total darkness.

Darts began flying through the darkness towards the screech, but Patov, a seasoned KGB veteran, called out, “Stop, we’re only hitting each other—I have one down. Demetri?”

“One as well, Colonel.”

Patov added quickly, “Link hands and sweep ahead, touching the walls—he is still somewhere between us.”

Fredrick felt the edge of a coat almost touch him, but, just about then the agents reached his hanging sweater and his shoes on the floor. There was an intense struggle with Fredrick’s abandoned clothes and shoes, some agents even punching each other out in the dark, so, during this time, Fredrick scooted along, found the napping agent and removed his coat. While moving toward the end of the tunnel, Fredrick encountered another body against the wall and thought That’s funny, Demetri said only one was down.

Fredrick halted, noting that there was some ambient light at the end of the tunnel and that there would be no way to slip past the rear guard undetected. A whistle and a rumble indicated that the northbound train was arriving; Fredrick, wearing the borrowed KGB coat, walked calmly toward the rear guard, who tensed and pointed his weapon. Fredrick then whispered, in Russian, from several feet away “It’s me—Dimetri”, and so the guard relaxed a bit—and it was in this split second that Fredrick leapt toward him and clunked him on the head with his pistol, took the guard’s shoes, put them on, then ran up to the platform and jumped aboard the already departing train. I am really Rushin’ now, thought Fredrick.

(The Tunnel)

It was Fredrick’s lucky day in that roast duck was on the dining car menu and so he ordered it. At the next station, Fredrick looked out the window and saw the 5 agents (minus one klunker and the two sleepers) running for the train and boarding the rear cars just as they were pulling away. Fredrick’s duck begin to take flight again as he ran to the end of the dining car and uncoupled the remainder of the train, pretty much leaving it sitting in the station. Good training.

The KGBers then notified their top man, General Burkov, who happened to be in the vicinity aboard his own lavish private train, of their latest defeat (a misplaced clause?). Burkov gave new orders to his engineer.

Meanwhile, Fredrick had run back through the dining car, the sleeper cars, the baggage car, and onto the engine, showing his ToeQuest membership card and advising the engineer that he should leave the train for his own safety.

About then, General Burkov’s train came off a siding at high speed and on to Fredrick’s track about three miles behind. Fredrick noted this, thinking that trains are not scheduled this closely, and continued onward until he saw a signal for an upcoming siding and stopped his train just beyond it, got out, and switched the main track onto the siding that led to an old abandoned mine, and just stood there to witness the action, carrying his duck. This should be good.

Burkov came roaring much too fast around a curve, spotted the track switch too late and tried an emergency stop, but his train kept going onto the siding and off toward the deserted mine shaft. Burkov and friends jumped off at the last minute just before the entire train plunged into the mine shaft and was swallowed into the eighteen story depths, never to be seen again. Shafted! Burkov cursed that “no one does this to me and lives! Send forth every agent and every train!”.

[austintorn@aol.com]

(Part 12 Con’t)

Fredrick hopped back on the engine, not planning to be on it much longer, for it wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t that far to the ninja base. The roast duck was still with him and so he finally got to sample it. Ah, delicious.

There was a tunnel coming up ahead, and Fredrick thought, not this again, and stopped just before it, got everyone out and walked off by himself through the woods and toward the ninja base. A large bird pointed the way.

In a while, a shadow appeared and came to life beside Fredrick saying, “Good move, Fredrick-san. I give you third degree now. I am ninth degree ninja Grand Master.”

“Hello ninth.”

“You not see me come; move like wind and go like water.”

“I heard you breaking wind and going water.”

“C’mon, that speech figure; beside, those awhile back. I wear black, come out of black between bush; appear as nothing.”

“I am an expert on nothing.”

They heard an explosion. “We take care of light at other end of tunnel, some kind of speeding red KGB engine.”

“Thanks, but where was my protection from the 8 KGB agents in the first place in the first tunnel?” asked Fredrick.

“Good training. But I there in second place in tunnel to protect you,” said the Ninja, “but you not need me.”

“You were there in the tunnel?”

“Yes, I there. You touch me once.”

“Oh yeah, thanks for being there; I thought I had an arithmetic problem. Okay, but was that it, just you?”

“That even too much, just need half of me, but I no like banana split so bring whole self! Ha-ha.”

“Good one, half and half.”

They arrived at the ninja base and went in.

“Now,” Fred, sir, “do some taste test: this Coke or Pepsi?”

“Neither; it is RC Diet Cola, from a can—nice try.”

“Ah, you have good taste. Now, what wine this be?”

“It’s a nonalcoholic sparkling grape beverage from Holland.”

“Ah, Fred, but what year.”

“This year. Now you taste this,” said Fredrick, as he pulled a piece of duck out of his pocket.

“Ah, yes, duck from Peking, south region. Very good. Now, what taste really consist of.”

“Well, although taste buds vary somewhat, there being 3 main classes, it all really comes down to the length of the vectors of the taste matrix of sweet, salt, bitter, and sour.”

“Yes, sir Fred. Fine taste. So, someone say something taste no good, then…”

“We don’t believe them since their taste buds may be different from ours.”

“Some see different color too?”

“Yes, slightly.”

“That why some look like dress in dark?”

“Yes, that could be, but you dress for the dark in the dark and go forth into the dark—so why wear anything?”

“Ah, good. Ha-ha. What best taste ever?”

“The taste of eternity that I am tasting right now.”

“Ah, Fredrick, you wise man.”

“As wise as wise guy you.”

“More ha-ha. Why not shoot pistol in tunnel?”

“Well, there was nowhere to aim, plus they could have identified my position from the chamber/barrel flash before I had a chance to shoot them all.”

“Good. What if they put light?”

“Then the better I know where they are to shoot them.”

“What if you get desperate or have to sneeze.”

“I cock the pistol and throw it where I am not as I run away. Hopefully, it fires where it lands and draws their attention to it and away from me as I escape.”

“All this plan in one minute make?”

“Yes, I am a traffic planner and must consider all directions, even up and down and underground through tunnels.”

“Well, you mind if we sell story to detective mystery writer DeMille, make money?”

“Fine, go ahead, but I always thought they made these things up.”

“No, truth stranger than fiction.”

“Any more tests?”

“How long is a china man.”

“Yes, that is his name.”

“No can fool you.”

“You hear of double negative, like ‘didn’t see no duck’?”

“Yes, they cancel and a duck appears, for since I didn’t see everything but a duck, then I must have seen a duck, but even this is not for sure.”

“Yes, maybe you ate duck. Now, there no such thing as double positives!”

“Yeah, right.”

“What you study lately?”

“Nothing.”

“Ah, that very hard state to maintain, so maybe not exist.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it would take a god or some force to keep nothing intact, but then not really nothing, for other stuff there. That my theory. It nothing really. Very little. A small point. A void to avoid. Not much. No big deal. Some zilch.”

“All right already—it’s not easy studying nothing, you know; but TON is one of the longest threads ever.”

“True, Mr. Rick. I like do nothing. But first I relax, then sleep, then rest up, then prepare do nothing, remove thoughts, try not move…”

“Okay, ninja, Welcome to NoQuest!”

[mkirkpatrick]

You know that would mean that You and I and my children and grandchild are also all illusion.

And so I cling to this dream as real.

Best,

Pat

P.S. Never an intrusion always a welcome guru

I understand truly what you are saying,it is painful to realize this,we prefer
the tangible,that we can hold and touch,rather than that which is seemingly
very nebulous.

warm regards michael.

[Profpat]

" Then I do nothing..then relax...then sleep.....

I love it, you described my life Austin.

Best,

Pat

P.S. Glad you are back safe.

[austintorn@aol.com]

Profpat,

I hear that you should buy a helicopter and practice flying it in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains as some feds may be after you soon.

[Profpat]

I'd love to Austin;

But first I sleep....then