My Theory.

[Blackcrow]

Greetings Blackcrow,
I once left my house and started walking north toward my destination after an hour or so of walking I knew i had gone a long way toward my goal, then i realized i went the wrong way when i left home, i should have gone south. I also believe in the one energy theory, "bored energy". Think of the purest form of intelligence you could possibly imagine, now think of the distance between where you are and the end of the universe, thats how far your imagination is from the truth. Our reality was created by the purest form of intelligent energy there is, so intelligent it convinced itself that it was not alone, after that the rest was easy. I doubt that intelligence that great would allow us to discover it's origin. That would be the end of this reality. But just as the original energy was bored and needed diversion, we, being of that same energy, have no choice but to seek. So i figured if i kept walking i would eventually end up at my desired destiny it would just take a lot longer, but time is all we have. peace

Yes, this is a theory that I used to think about. Your supposition that you are right and I am wrong would need more detail given to your description of where your belief comes from.
" Our reality was created by the purest form of intelligent energy there is, so intelligent it convinced itself that it was not alone,"
How do you know this? What convinced it?
I agree that we are infinitly distant from the original source but as the energy is in all things and has high levels of concentration scattered throughout the universe, I believe it is still possible to commune with it (at least a fraction of it).
As a psychologist I used to put this down to "the higher mind" but personal meditations have proved that it is possible to transend one's own conciousness and merge with other energies, I suppose I am assuming that we can commune with the "intelligent energy" but then this is the whole point of faith and theory and cannot be proved or unproved because we have no way of actually knowing for sure, do we?

[Blackcrow]

WOW!!!! I’m dumbfounded and amazed; I didn’t know “The X-Files” were base on true stories.

What an entirely rediculous statement.

[Blackcrow]

As a psychologist I am aware that people who live through traumatic emotional experiences (S.E.E. Significant Emotional Event) will throw up a hard shell around associated emotions to the event and retreat into the "higher mind" as an escape from reality because... reality is so bad that there has to be something better and although the rest of the world can't see how great they are, God knows how special they are and one day their destiny will be fulfilled...
Notice that most pagans are previous victims of bullying and give themselves names like "Queen of the dead" and have spirit animals like wolves and bears, why not mice or a blackbird. Everything in the pagan mind is exaggerated and mostly it is a reaction to the trauma of being bullied. An escapism into overly educating one's self is also this same exaggeration.
But as a practitioner, I have noticed that my clients often trancend what I would consider subconcious thought (which can usually be followed through symbolic journeying). There is a trace like state that renders them speachless and physically still to point of their breathing slowing down dramatically. I know there is reasoning in worldly terms for this but from what I have seen and personally experienced interms of spiritual manipulation and "magick" I have surmised that mankind does not have all the answers and that most of the reasoning which keeps spiritual activity worldly is just based on opinion rather than fact.
Emotion is the most important part of every life, it is impossible to have a thought without it going through your internal filters which of course run a rigorous emotion check each time. So if you can harness control over your emotions, especially fear and confidence then you can achieve anything. I believe that when we use the energy of our emotions it affects the energy streams around us to the point, with perhaps some extra help from chanting which creates some good resonance which in turn adds to the disturbance of the energy streams, so that we can manipulate them to perform magick or to commune with other energy sources which we identify as God or spirit.

[ggullet]

"nobody's right if everybody's wrong".

It is not my intention that the confidence in what I believe, in any way diminishes or demeans anyone's beliefs. I am a firm believer that all beliefs are valid and necessary.

[dleviwing]

Sorry Blackcrow; I do tend to respond to ridiculous posts with ridiculous statements.

I think if you continue your education and become a psychiatrist, you’ll have second thoughts on the assessments you’ve made as a psychologist. Some of us are just born that way and some of us that are born that way become sociopaths. The path is chosen by the upbringing within the family and also by the society.

Have you questioned what made you the way you are?

[Blackcrow]

Sorry Blackcrow; I do tend to respond to ridiculous posts with ridiculous statements.

I think if you continue your education and become a psychiatrist, you’ll have second thoughts on the assessments you’ve made as a psychologist. Some of us are just born that way and some of us that are born that way become sociopaths. The path is chosen by the upbringing within the family and also by the society.

Have you questioned what made you the way you are?

I am the second eldest of 6 brothers. From birth we were beaten by our mother who tried to control our screaming with more punishment. I was hospitalised at age 4 and watched my brother being beaten to near death by her at age 7. We were ritualistically tortured with slow, deliberate canings and beatings from a large buckled belt. The beatings and mental torment continued throughout my entire life at home.
At age 15 my mother in a fit of psycotic rage, pinned me to a chair with her knees and tried to kill me by stabbing me in the neck with a knife.
My father tried to convince her to stop as did our grandparents but nobody ever involved the authorities, especially as back in those days, it was accepted behaviour and we were all very well controlled by her.
At school I was bullied (once a victim always a victim) to the point where I was stabbed in the stomach and had a concrete slab broken over my head while one testicle was kicked into my lower abdomin.
Some of the teachers in my school were members of a club of peadophiles with Thomas Hamilton the man who shot 16 kids in Dunblane, my home town. I was a founding member of his club. I was never interfered with sexually but was beaten by him and the teachers who were his friends.
At age 15, after my mother tried killing me, I started karate lessons and swore that nobody would ever bully me again.
I achieved black belt at shotokan by age 18 and won Scottish championships at age 19 while also achieving black belt in Kung Fu.
I took revenge on everyone who had ever bullied me and after moving to Edinburgh I started to mix in "gangster" circles where I earned a lot of money hitting people and exorting money. I did this for about 4 years and also worked as a body guard for a modelling agency.
I decided that eventually I would end up dead or in jail and this worried me. So I left the "gangster life behind me and went off to join the Royal Marines.
I qualified for the Marines and served with them for about 18months until an accident in a helicopter wrenched my back out of position and rendered me unfit for duty.
Since then I have trained and worked in Conservation Management, Gas pipeline welding, Gardening, NLP, psychology (CBT); I was a lay preacher with the Methodist church and many other fields of interest.
I am predominantly a gardener because my early lifestyle was not that good so it took me a while to take life seriously and get into work.
I have plans for the future which possibly involve becoming involved in nationalist politics because I think that the real bullies of this world, the right wing white supremecists need to be stamped out (obviously Islamic extremists also).
at the moment I am exploring where, at the age of 40, I can take my life so I am looking into every interest I have to find an answer and that has led me here.
I am a psychologist part time but do not feel that my future lies in this direction because there's only so far my interest in the human mind goes.
I hope this answers you question of whether I know what made me the way I am. The reasons for the way I am play on my mind every day of my life. I have had counselling and have brought my temper into line but I do sometimes slip back into "script" behaviour which is as you say, what I learned in childhood.

[dleviwing]

Blackcrow;
With such atrocities in your experience, I would think that your calling would be in the prevention of such on other children; social work can be very rewarding.

To move on with your life, you need to let go of all hate; even the hate for those who deserve it. You've had your share of hate, it's time to seek happiness.

[Blackcrow]

Thanks for the advice but I have moved on from the hate, I may occasionally lose my temper but doesn't everybody? I pretty normal now.
As to the social work thing, I have considered it aswell as counselling for childline etc but I haven't found the courage to take the drop in earnings and since I'm the only breadwinner in the house this is important. With the best will in the world, as rewarding as I know social work would be, I'm not taking my family down to get there. I'm sure that the right opportunity will present itself and I am connected to some good counselling groups. Just as soon as I free up some time I'll be volunteering as a child counsellor and my partner is training as a child psychotherapist.
I'm confident that whatever I'm supposed to do with my life will be done when the times are right.
I actually have a good relationship with my mother now after we sorted through our differences and she got counselling too.